Kofi's Blog

Shit.Now I don’t know what I am feeling but I think it has to do with one of my depressive episodes that I went through thinking about the thought of having to work with a coworker.I can’t handle this guy.Hopefully he leaves or I leave the gas bar soon because I cannot work with him.I cannot explain why but it is like every time I work with him I am always having to second guess myself and my own abilities since he is an introvert as well.He is even a worse introvert than myself because of the constant text messaging that he does to people that I don’t even know.Even I don’t know who he texts to.Does he text to his friends or himself?I don’t know but I keep thinking that I am inferior to him and like I am always regressing to him because of his smarts academically.I know that I shouldn’t be but I always feeling that way when I work with him.Also the anti-American attitude he has which I can’t stand.All my other coworkers have that anti-American attitude too and they are in a way are sickening me but regardless,I have an absolute respect and admiration for Americans particularly my African American brothers and sisters.And this folks,is coming from an African.

I also have a love for African American women even though most of them aren’t really big fans of African men.I know that I said that my preference are Latin Women but in this entry I want to give a shout to my African American sisters since they’re the ones who understand black men and the pressures,stresses and strife they face in this white North American society.A white woman if I were to marry one won’t have a real understanding as to what I will be going through if I end up running into problems.But a black woman,she will understand.But not only African American women,I have to say African women too.I cannot forget about them since my late mother was an African.

But getting back to the work issue.Yeah,I cannot stand this kid I work with.There is just something about him that just depress the hell out of me.

Here are some of my favorite links:

www.ebony.com

www.blackenterprise.com

www.rockydawuni.com

www.blackagendareport.com

www.blackgivesback.com

www.radio-one.com

Good evening.I only have a few minutes to spare since my break is just about over and the library is going to close in a few minutes.I was just thinking about my AutoCAD and going into business for myself with that skill since I am not having much luck with this job search.I just have to find a way to sell myself with these skills and knowledge I have.It is hard because with anything in business and life,you just have to sell yourself and this applies with searching for a job.Which is probably why I haven’t been able to land anything as of late.Selling yourself is hard in any business.I thought about making a website selling my AutoCAD skills but I don’t know how to go about doing it.I think that the few minutes I have left before this joint closes I will start looking for some books with house plans so I can get some practice with drawing house plans.Not only house plans but piping and electrical systems because for the last few months I haven’t been practicing my CADD skill with all the worries about money and job searches I haven’t been able to buckle down to practice or upgrade my skills.

It is hard when you have money,job and lack of sex worries on your mind.As I have said in my earlier entry we are not taught to introspect our lives and for myself,this is an example.I have been working at the gas bar so much that I haven’t been able to buckle down and think through my life in regards to this career in AutoCAD.Maybe it’s because I get so tired at times when I come home from work.Well,I have to find a way to change this scenario and I think that all of us should change our routines once in a while to really introspect and plan what we really want to do or to figure out what it is we want in life.

Okay,I am just here writing anything that comes to mind since I am trying to do a bit of introspection here.Introspection is one word that we don’t like to hear but I am going to have to do it because for a couple of days I haven’t been doing it and I think that is causing me to get distracted so much in here.We as a society are not taught to introspect.But the biggest thing I think is that black people as a race are not taught to introspect.We as a people are not taught to introspect because we are always striving for the latest hairstyles, clothes, cars and houses without really looking at ourselves as to how we can strive in this white society.You think I am just talking about America,no.I am talking about North America as a whole including Canada and some of Europe,the U.K too since blacks there face some sort of discrimination as well.When I say that we blacks are not introspective,I am saying that we are always distracted by what these white people are doing and then we copy them.We copy them by going to school to get an education to prepare for good jobs working for these companies instead of going to school to learn about how to run your own business or getting into entrepreneurship.

No,we as a race are not taught to think about what we can do to strive economically in this continent and that to me is pretty sad because we have the potential to create businesses for ourselves but we don’t want to do that.We would much rather go to school,finish school and try to get jobs working for these corporations who we think have our interests but that isn’t always the case.Often,when they see your resume,the white person in the human resource department will either throw away your resume or they will just put it on file which is kind of racist.Even if they do call you for an interview,they will often not give you a job then minute they see your black skin color.I am not saying that this is always the case but 90% of the cases,things like this happen.

Okay,I have some business news to talk about here.I just found out now that Barbara Graves,the wife of the inventor of Black Enterprise Magazine,Earl Graves Sr died yesterday at the age of 75 years old after losing her battle with some illness.This is a big loss for Mr.Graves Sr who was with her for a very long time when the magazine came out.I was surprised with the news because I thought that he was going to die first but I think that she was probably battling the disease for a while.Boy,it is a blog for him and his three sons who also work for the magazine.But I have to say that this is a loss for the African American business community.I will probably see this on some blogs and websites and I will see this news on Business Week but it will probably be on there for a short while or maybe a few days and that will be it.It is like every time a black person dies,their stories are never given any clout.But when a white person dies then their stories are more valued.Like Donna Summer and Robin Gibe both died this month of cancer and yet,Robin Gibb got more attention and respect than Donna Summer.The same thing happened with Dick Clark and Don Cornelius,the hosts of American Bandstand and Soul Train who died a few weeks apart and yet,Dick Clark got more attention and respect than Don Cornelius.Why?Soul Train was a way better show than American Bandstand.But this just sort of prove my point that the media particularly,the corporate media is whitewashed with this mentality of white supremacy.

But getting back to Earl Graves Sr and Black Enterprise.His wife will be missed even though I have never met her myself personally nor have I met the Graves family personally but this is my condolence for the African American business community and for black people as a whole.There has to be more black businesses or entrepreneurship.RIP Barbara Graves.

Hi there.I just want to wish all of my American followers,especially my African American followers a very Happy Memorial Day!!!

Feeling a bit fatigued right now from all this thinking.Yeah,I think way too much and that is causing me to feel tired all the time.I am feeling kind of numb right now not being able to feel anything in my senses.Maybe boredom has hit me but I am finding things to do.I have to be heading out in a few minutes to do some shopping.Then I will be heading off to the gym to get in a quick workout.Then come back to do more watching of this documentary on obesity.Yeah obesity.It is a word that we don’t like to talk about in North America but it is becoming a big problem.This problem is especially occurring in America.Although I have to say that the world is catching up due to this increasing use of technology such as computers and video games.But as I watch this documentary,obesity comes down to economics since most poverty stricken areas in America have lower incomes.So it is hard for them to buy good food which tend to be very expensive.So people in the inner cities tend to spend their money on fast food and that is where they really become obese and fat.The obesity rates in America are high among the African American and Hispanic communities while in Canada it is high among Native Indians.Of course this is a problem as well among Native Americans too where this is so much poverty.

I will give a full report on this movie to the best of my knowledge when I come back but for now I must be going.